Bumper Stickers: A Dying Breed...Thank Goodness

It doesn’t seem that nowadays we see too many bumper stickers on cars unless it is an election year. I remember seeing all the “Bush is Lame”, “Gore did NOT invent the internet”, “Hilary looks like a man” and “Who is this Kerry guy anyways?” bumper stickers around. Okay, not really, I made those up but my point is that there is a better chance of seeing bumper stickers around elections. Why are people so open to share their political views anyways? I would rather talk about my bowel movements than what party I like to party in (Paaaw-tay!!). I think we forget sometimes that bumper stickers were invented to actually cover ugly booboos on cars. Fortunately for everyone, the world caught on to the fact that it actually drew more attention to the dent on the car. Hmmmm…who was the genius to finally realize that neon yellow smiley faces or Grateful Dead bears were attention drawing. By any means, the bumper sticker is a dying breed unless you include elections and teenagers trying to make their 1990 Geo Tracker look cool with band stickers and bunnies sticking their fingers in their noses. I am in no way dissing on the Tracker, I totally wanted one when I was 16. They were all small and teal with a super cool brushed purple logo of “Tracker” painted on the side. Sorry for the tangent. I tend to do that so bear with me.

I was driving home from work the other day and I saw a bumper sticker that I think is the absolute worst of all time. I know you have seen them, maybe you laughed, maybe you thought it was dumb or you may in fact looked at it as witty somehow. I did not. I looked at this bumper sticker and thought to myself “This is exactly the reason I do not like people.” It was not sexist or racist. It was not childish or offensive. It just plain didn’t make any sense. It was the bumper sticker that I cannot stand above all bumper stickers. If it had a name it would be Michael Moore that is how much I hate it. It said “My schnauzer is smarter than your honor student.” Really? Lady in the blue van, you really think that your little grey furry dog is smarter than somebody’s honor roll student?

Now I do realize that dogs are smart. I absolutely love dogs and I am all for people treating their dogs like children. I understand completely. They are cuddly and cute. They do not talk back or fight with you. They are loyal and in some cases they actually have jobs and help society. I am as big of a dog fan as the next person but I still think that is the dumbest bumper sticker of all time. Does she really think her schnauzer is smarter than a child? Is she that mad at those parents who are happy to support their children’s accomplishments? I realize that the school systems are not up to par these days, that is a whole other blog, but can you honestly say a dog is smarter than a child? I understand the honor student bumper stickers are annoying too but at least it makes sense.

So, what do you think of those bumper stickers? Do you have a bumper sticker that you see and think “that idiot really put that on their car?”

BTW-I am totally not down for the window stickers that list everyone in the whole flippin family along with dogs, cats, birds, fish and house plants. I love it when the entire rear window is covered with stick people because I was totally dying to know what all the names of the people riding inside the car were.

That is right up there with the “In Memory” window stickers. If something bad should happen to me, I do not want you to honor me by putting my name in old English on your low rider. I appreciate the gesture but I’m all good.